The Skyrim Exploits of Sythis and Sirrus
by VanguardVillain
Summary: The legend of the two Dragonborns is of Sythis, the depraved and homicidal Imperial, and Sirrus, the cowardly and slightly saner Nord. The two are forced to work together to liberate Skyrim from its most terrifying threat yet: Alduin, the World-Eater!Prepare to experience action, adventure, silliness and murder! ...But mostly murder!
1. Chapter 1

Chapter One

The imperial captain is handed a rolled scroll with an official Imperial seal from a courier. After her fingers fight the seal, she straightens it out, skims through it, and then smiles.

When seeing the captain's slightly eerie grin, Sirrus sighs, knowing what her rare good mood means. More Stormcloak soldiers, more executions. "Get a load of this one, Nord." The captain shoves the list in her hands, ripping away to wait for their arrival.

She eyes the captain's back crossly before making herself shrug off the usual treatment she gets from Imperials. And, the insults and finger-pointing she gets from her own kin for 'not being a true Nord'.

Returning to the scroll, Sirrus, reluctant at first, reads through as well, but her eyes widen in surprise when stopping on one name: Ulfric Stormcloak, Jarl of Windhelm; the leader of the Stormcloak rebellion. This means that this horrid civil war can finally be done with. This means that she would no longer have to witness another beheading. She can stop being pushed around by the soldiers in Helgen. She can leave, go back to Solitude, and continue her duties as Falk Firebeard's apprentice steward.

As much as it makes her sick, she finds herself eagerly waiting for that wagon to fully pull itself to a stop before them. The rebels, slowly, line up for their names (One talking about 'the mead with the juniper berries'). One, however, starts screaming "I'm not a rebel!" and sprints off. But sadly for that fool, the archers took care of that in moments.

But, when she thinks she is finished reading, another prisoner stands before her, soundless with her hands bound. She then lowers the list, intimidated by the ragged prisoner who does not even spare her a glance. No, she shows no fear whatsoever of what is to come, but her face is kept into a determined scowl.

Sirrus and the Captain regarded this woman for a moment, unnerved by her lack of concern.

"Who are you?" the captain asked. The woman gave no response. Sirrus began to study her closely. This woman's eyes were the first thing everyone saw. They were white as snow, absent of any pupil in the center. By all appearances, this woman was blind. Sirrus wondered if she was deaf as well. Crimson war paint encircled the woman's soulless eyes, and snaked down each side of her neck. She was thin, but appeared to be strong. She was wearing simple prisoner's clothes, which were little more than rags.

"The captain asked you a question." Sirrus pressed. "What is your name?"

"Sythis." The woman replied flatly.

"Sythis?" The captain echoed.

Sirrus searched the list for her name. "She's…not here. Her name isn't here." Growling under her breath, the captain rips the list from her hands and rereads it.

Scoffing, the captain throws the list away and snaps her fingers into a commanding point. "Forget the list! She goes to the block!"

Sirrus winced and looked to the woman. "Your remains will be taken back to your home in Cyrodiil." Her voice of concern did not make the slightest expression. She may have flickered her sight in her direction briefly, but none could tell with such eyes.

Turning on her heel, she heeds the command to line up at the block. Sirrus, as usual, turned her eyes from the ghastly sight as one of the rebel's heads rolled to the ground, detached from his now squirting neck.

Yet, the woman…she did not even blink. She does not even a twitch when it is her turn. For unknown reasons, Sirrus is captivated to watch her drop to her knees and lay her neck down straight for the axe. When her empty gaze turns up to the executioner, an unsettling, unnatural roar is heard in the valley, causing everyone to pause and look to the skies.

"Continue!" The captain shrilly commands.

The executioner huffed, and lifted the axe above his head once more; poised for the deadly strike. Sythis kept her unnatural gaze fixed on him, expressionless as her fate loomed above her.

Even though Sirrus thought nothing would break her attention from this, something black flashed around the sky. She was unable to distinguish anything about the shape, but she was glad to know that it was not a figment of her imagination.

Others also turned their watch until it showed itself again, landing on top of the tower behind the executioner. Its sharp maw opened to roar again, but this time, sending a wave of flames to follow its fury, roasting the unaware executioner alive.

The world around her turned silent and frozen as she felt as though she was locked into the creature's eyes. A dragon, it cannot be— she had only heard of such things in books. Books which depicted them as legend but she had instantly turned up her nose and pronounced it a myth.

But while she was staggered in place, she failed to realize that everyone around her had scattered and that the prisoner had jumped away from the block. When a firm fist plunges into her stomach, she reanimates in agony and falls to the ground. The fist then seizes a handful of her black hair as she is dragged into a tower.

She trembles in horror as the white eyes burn a murderous glare into her. "Where is the way out?!" the warrior commands, her bound hands now clenching her throat.

She still tries to break from her shock. "Dra- dragon-" another punch across her cheek finally snaps her completely back to her senses.

"I can _see_ that!" Sythis roared angrily. "Where is the way _out_?!"

"I don't know! I just write the letters and documents! You know— desk work!" She quivers, seeing that she is not at all appeased.

"Then you are of no further use to me!" She picks up a chunk of fallen stone and reels her arm back to bash her brains in.

Sirrus's hands fly up in defense "Wait! Wait!" her urgent scream halts the driving stone. Sythis arches a brow, impatiently waiting for an answer. "I know of a passage! It leads to a cave but I'm not sure if it leads outside—"

"Then move it!" she forces her up and pushes her out the door.

As the warrior pushes her along, destruction falls all around them as the scaled creature tears apart the town. Seeing imperials close by, she starts shouting for them for help, but they are far too preoccupied to hear her cries over the ruin. Sythis ignores it all as she follows behind the girl who now knows that finding this passage is her only option.

Finally, her hands fly around the handles of the familiar door, she had found it! As soon as the doors open, a hard kick is delivered to her back, sending her flying in. Sythis quickly jumps inside as well and manages to slam the door shut to block another wave of dragon fire. It seemed as if they were inside a room of one of the towers in the compound. Wooden tables lay in splintered pieces, and bleeding bodies of imperial guards littered the floor as if they were a child's unwanted playthings.

Sirrus's back is pressed against the stone as a dull blade is thrown at her feet.

"Cut my bindings. Now!" Sythis demanded. Sirrus obeyed immediately. Sythis rubbed her wrists and glanced around the stone room.

"There's weapons here. You'd better arm yourself. You know how to use a sword, don't you?" Sythis said.

"Um…well…I don't fight. I don't use any weapons. But, I do know something of a bow…I think." Sirrus stuttered.

"Well, find one then!" Sythis growled as she pulled a sword from a guard's dead body. She kicked the body over, and stripped it of it's armor. Trembling, Sirrus pulled a simple longbow from the dead fist of an officer and tested it's strength. She turned and saw Sythis wearing the armor of the slain guard.

"What the-you're wearing the dead guy's clothes?!" Sirrus exclaimed.

"Yes, and I suggest you do the same!" Sythis said with a proud expression. Sirrus glanced at the closest slain soldier and swallowed hard. Just the sight of his mangled corpse made her want to vomit. She threw Sythis a pleading look.

"Do I have to?" she whispered.

"Go on!" Sythis barked as she turned to grab a second iron sword.

"Why do you need two swords?" Sirrus asked.

"One for each hand." Sythis smiled. "Hurry up before this dragon brings this place down around our ears!" Sirrus winced and grabbed for the slain soldier's armor.

"Oh gods…I'm so sorry for this." Sirrus said to the corpse. She had a bit of difficulty pulling the armor from the slain soldier's stiff body, but she managed to work it around the rigor mortis. Once she had the armor on herself, she took a quiver filled with iron arrows from the floor. She turned to find Sythis standing by a large wooden door, staring at her expectantly.

"Are you quite finished?"

"Yes." Sirrus said sorely. This woman's impatience was beginning to get on her nerves.

"Good." Sythis turned and threw open the door. Sirrus stood behind her and stared out cautiously into the damp stone hallway.

"Scared?"

"No." Sirrus said defensively. Sythis scoffed and strode boldly into the hallway. Sirrus followed her down the stairs and into a larger room closed off by a pair of iron gates. Sythis stopped abruptly, as Sirrus ran into her back.

"Ow! What is your problem?!" Sirrus exclaimed.

"Imperials!" the hushed voice came from the room behind the gate. "Prepare yourself!"

"Stormcloaks." Sythis smiled.

"What do we do?!"

"You have a bow, do you not? Put it to good use!" Sythis said as she drew her swords. She rushed towards the black gates and sent them crashing open with one swift kick. A pair of Stormcloak soldiers rushed out from behind the stone walls with their weapons drawn and their teeth bared.

"For Skyrim!" they cried. A wild grin spread itself on Sythis' face and she rushed into the fray with a roar. Sirrus couldn't knock an arrow fast enough before both Stormcloak soldiers lay slain at Sythis' feet. Instead, she stood there, clinging onto her bow with both hands as Sythis gazed proudly at her new kill.

"If you want to kill something, you have to be a bit faster than that, Nord." Sythis said, turning in her direction. "Otherwise, you're useless to have around."

"It seems as if you don't need any help." Sirrus managed. Sythis shrugged.

"Keep moving." Sythis snatched a key off of one of the bodies and then spat on it as she walked by. Sirrus wrinked her nose at Sythis' blatant disrespect for the dead, but decided she should say nothing. Sythis used the key to unlock the opposite gate and Sirrus followed her out into another large stone hallway. At the opposite end were a handful of Imperial soldiers.

"Escaped prisoner! Get her!" they cried. Sirrus reached for her bow when the roof of the hallway partially caved in, blocking the soldiers from reaching them. Sythis glanced up as the crashing of the rubble was followed by the scream of the attacking dragon.

"Damn dragon." She breathed.

"I, for one, am grateful that happened. It saved us from having to deal with them." Sirrus interjected.

"I'm not going to give you the pleasure of responding to that. Look around for another door."

"There's one here! On your left." Sirrus pointed. Sythis strode over to it and threw it open. Both women stepped through into a large storage room.

"Oh, goody! Supplies!" Sythis said, looking around.

"Isn't that stealing?" Sirrus asked. Sythis blinked at her.

"…What?"

"We'd be stealing! Everything in here belongs to the Imperial Legion! We can't just take this stuff!"

"I can tell that I'm really, really not going to like you." Sythis sighed. "Look around for anything we might need."

"Like?"

"Potions! Weapons! Septims! The mead with the juniper berries! What do you think?!" Sythis snapped.

"Okay, okay…." Sirrus said, walking away as Sythis busied herself with a nearby trunk. Sirrus turned the corner and screamed. There were two Imperial soldiers trying to pry open a barrel. When they saw Sirrus, they rushed at her with their weapons drawn. Sirrus barely had time to think. She took out her bow and swung it at one of the soldiers. The wooden bow connected to the soldiers head with a sharp smack, and he staggered, surprised.

"I'm so sorry!" Sirrus cried as she continued to bludgeon the soldier's head and neck with her bow. The other one was nearly on top of her when he got blindsided by Sythis. She embedded both blades deep into his chest and lifted him up over her head. For a moment she looked into the dying soldier's twisted face and smiled before throwing his limp body to the floor. Sirrus was still hitting the other soldier repeatedly and apologizing at the same time. Sythis sheathed her swords and grabbed Sirrus by the shoulders.

"Hey, hey!" Sythis said. "He's dead! You got him! You can stop now!" Sirrus gave the man one more good smack before stopping to look at Sythis.

"Wh..wha-?" She breathed heavily.

"He's dead! You can stop whacking him now!" Sythis chuckled.

"I know!" Sirrus exclaimed. She watched Sythis as she began to laugh at her. Her laughter started as a quiet giggle and then quickly blossomed into an all-out guffaw. "Why are you laughing?" Sirrus asked as she clenched onto her bow.

"Be…because!" Sythis gasped. "That's…not how you use one!"

"I know!" Sirrus growled, annoyed. She replaced her bow on her back and glared at Sythis as she continued to laugh.

"I…I'm sorry!" Sythis managed after a moment. "That's just…the most ridiculous thing I've ever seen! I do give you credit for creativity, however…." Sythis wiped her eyes, and began to rummage through the barrel the soldiers had been so interested in a few moments ago.

"I…they surprised me. I panicked." Sirrus said, pouting.

"I don't care what was going through your head. That was one of the funniest damn things-ah ha!" Sythis exclaimed suddenly. "Potions! Minor health, minor magicka…and minor stamina, it seems." Sythis reached into the barrel and tossed bottle after bottle to Sirrus. "Carry these." Sythis ordered. "And let's keep moving."

Sirrus glared at her back, and begrudgingly stuffed the potions into a nearby sack which she slung over her shoulder. As the warrior greedily rummaged through the whole room—even picking a lock of a cage just to retrieve a few coins— Sirrus walked around, awkwardly waiting. That is, until a cover of a tattered, black book caught her eye, the word 'Dragonborn' seemed to glow to her.

But when picking it up, the book is instantly smacked out her hands and on to the ground. "Are you serious?! I'm sacrificing time to escape for supplies, and the only thing you manage to find interesting is a book?!" Sythis harshly scolds her before hearing more crashing from the dragon above. She then jerks her arm to quickly follow and they both sprint down the tunnel.

But at the end, they meet with a small battle between the Imperials and the Stormcloaks. However, only few take notice of the two trying to slip past. Three brandish their weapons and run towards them, but when Sythis extends her arms into a twin bladed embrace, two of them fall to the ground with bleeding slits across their jugulars.

The last one stands frozen in place as he watches the creepy woman clean the blood off her cheek with a swipe of her gauntlet. When hearing his smothered quivering, she tilts her head at him with a sinister smile which unnerves him enough to finally drop his weapon and run away. "Coward! Just let me stab you a few times! You're going to die eventually!" she calls to him, holding her blades hungrily until noticing Sirrus had disappeared.

Sighing, she strides over to a shaking barrel, chops of the top of it, reaches down, and reclaims the trembling Nord by holding her up by the collar. As her fear-stricken turquoise eyes meet the blank ones that are sharpened in disgust, she shrinks in her hold even more.

"You're pathetic!" Sythis growls.

"And you're a violent monster!" she insults back.

Instead of retaliating, the sides of her mouth perk up "I try." she shrugs. She then drops her and the ground the shoves her forward again. "You. Lead. Now." her commands turn impatient once more.

They successfully slip past any more enemies and trek down a cave with a stream rushing around their feet. Though the water is very cold, Sirrus cannot feel it over her relief that they were almost out and the noises of the dragon could no longer be heard. The smell of nature and the faint blowing of a fresh breeze now helped her lead the way.

But when Sythis's surprisingly vigil eyes spot something, she grabs the girl's shoulder and retracts her back behind a rock. "Bear." she simply informs.

Sirrus, caught by surprise, peeks over the side and sees the beast sleeping soundly beside the stream. However, around its body were skeletons…and some not completely barren of flesh. "Avoiding it! Yes! Good thinking!" he happily says.

However, her brief glee is automatically replaced by confusion and worry when the hard woman shook her head, grinning again. "No, I just wanted you to stay out of the way while I get myself that pelt!"

She springs over the rock with swords in hand while shouting at the creature. At first, it roars furiously back, and then it starts to whine and whimper. Sirrus peeks around the rock again, though, she wished she hadn't as she turns her head away and fights from gaging.

Filled with pride, Sythis now holds up a pelt which she somehow, already stripped from the dead animal. "I think I'm going to be rich!" she cheers.

"I think I'm going to be sick…" Sirrus holds her stomach and mouth, rejoining her side.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter Two:

As they left the cramped, darkness of the cave, their senses were hit by a wave of cool, fresh air. Their sights were greeted by hordes of evergreens and small blankets of snow. And somewhere not too far off, a river trickled and rushed to travel to the rest of Skyrim.

However, the bliss of this scene was instantly altered into brief horror as the black figure of the dragon darted overhead. While Sirrus was frozen in place, Sythis was the first to react by once again, pulling her behind the safety of a boulder. But the dragon did not even notice them and flew out of sight.

"Oh no…" Sythis sighs.

"I know! It was heading towards Whiterun!" Sirrus leaves the safety of the rock and stares at the sky in horror.

"No not that!" Sythis trails behind her, throwing the bear pelt over her shoulder. "Do you know how much a dragon's pelt could be worth!? I can't believe I let it get away!" She slams her palm to her forehead in regret as Sirrus now glares at her.

"…Seriously?"

Sythis blankly raises her head from her palm. "What?"

"Oh, I don't know…Dragons somehow exist again and are just as dangerous as ever…and right now, the one that almost killed us is heading to one the great holds in Skyrim. Most _sane_ people might be concerned, but you, you see it as another way to get rich!"

Sythis stares at her, as though trying to process those words like they were a foreign language. "I'm sorry, when did becoming rich become a bad thing?"

"Don't you understand the concept of nobility?!" Sirrus scoffs.

Once again, Sythis takes a moment to think the statement over. "…When one is rich enough they can buy a title?" Frustrated, Sirrus rolls her hands into white knuckled fists and turns to march off. "Hey where you going?!" Sythis calls after her.

"To Riverwood and away from you-you depraved lunatic!"

"What a coincidence!" Sythis yells playfully and burst with a short sprint until catching up to her side. "I'm heading the same way."

That sent a bad taste in Sirrus's mouth "I don't understand you for a moment! Just a few minutes ago you were going to kill me and then after that, you dragged me through more hell!" she exclaims in confusion.

A wide, devilish smile spreads across the scary warrior's face "Doesn't make much sense does it?"

"No, it really doesn't." Sirrus tries to quicken her pace to get away from her, but with no luck as she is once again at her side.

"Well, it occurred to me that you have skills I can use— and I can tell you right now, those aren't your fighting skills…" Even though Sirrus knew that was true, she still grunted in offense as she continued. "But I don't know what it is…you have a way of talking to people…good speech skills like that can help a woman like me stay out of trouble!" Sirrus was already ready to flatly say no. "And you also happen to be good with…what was it? Oh desk work! And I happen to have a bounty on my head…"

"Deal with it yourself, I refuse to be your partner!"

"The term 'partner' is a little too much…I was thinking more like 'sidekick who carries things for me'."

"Not interested." She grumbles

"That so? Alright then, where do you plan on going after this, Solitude? If so, how is it you're going to get there? You know, bow-whacking won't always work. Especially on wizards…mages…werewolves and vampires…"

"Werewolves and vampires?!" Sirrus stops in fear as Sythis slinks back to her.

"Oh yes…" she chuckles darkly. "Come nightfall, they just wait for lone travelers like yourself to rip them limb from limb."

"You come off as someone who would do similar…"

"Maybe." She shrugs honestly. "But not to the one who could get rid of aforementioned bounty."

Filled with distrust, Sirrus eyes her critically, searching her expression to find some kind of lie. "I do this, and you will take me to Solitude?" she harshly questions.

"And you'll never see my beautiful face again." She agrees.

Still fighting the deal, Sirrus finally yields with a sigh "Fine…"

"I knew you were smarter than you looked!" Sythis cheers. Sirrus draws back in offense but has no time to defend herself as a giant, heavy bear pelt is instantly emptied into her hands. "Now carry that and let's go!" She begins to lead the way until the small Nord makes one more comment.

"But to be able to clear your bounty, we need to go to Whiterun so I may speak with the Jarl." She shifts the pelt comfortably in her hold and follows behind like a servant.

"Well, I think the easiest way of clearing your bounty might be if you warned them of a certain dragon…and maybe killed that certain dragon?"

"Dammit!" Sythis roars into the sky, shaking the ground like thunder. Sirrus stood shocked as the power of her voice almost matched that of the terrible beast they just ran from. "What now?" Sythis glares at her jarring mouth.

"Your voice…" she trembles.

"Oh, yeah, that…" The imperial remembers until shrugging apathetically. "Happens all the time."

Sirrus stared at her as she sauntered off.

"So, what hold is your bounty under?" Sirrus asked.

"All of them." Sythis replied simply.

"_All_ of them?!" Sirrus nearly shouted. "For what?!"

"Well, honestly, I forget." Sythis sighed as she scratched at the back of her head. "Arson…thievery…impersonation of Ulfric Stormcloak…two counts of necromancy, poaching, treason…five counts of public drunkenness…ten counts of vandalism (my personal favorite)…murder…a _lot_ of murder…and stealing a plant from the Jarl's court. However, the last one cannot be proven."

"For some reason, I'm not even surprised anymore." Sirrus replied, exasperated.

"That's no fun." Sythis grinned.

"So…how much? Per hold?"

"Er…about…ten…"

"Ten? That's nothing! What do you need me for?!"

"…Thousand. Per hold."

"By the Eight…" Sirrus was now on the verge of tears.

"That's a personal record, for me. I'm actually rather proud." Sythis beamed.

"…Let's just keep walking." Sirrus said, avoiding the topic any further.

Sythis led on silently with Sirrus at her flank until they hit the small hamlet of Riverwood. Sirrus was happy to seeing civilization, until everyone gave them uneasy looks, however, they were mostly directed to the scary woman marching in front of her. Awkwardly avoiding these glances, Sirrus ducks her head close behind the thick pelt.

"I saw a dragon!" An old woman leaning from the railing of her porch said to her son.

"I have no idea who you are." He replied back and whispered to the guard that she was crazy. Sirrus gave the woman a dodgy look as she was carried off until Sythis spoke cheerfully at a sign depicting golden scales.

"Ah! The good ole pawn shop!"

"Can I ask why everyone is giving you odd looks?"

"Probably because of my unnatural beauty." Sythis said while a meek smile, not taking her eyes off the sign as she began to examine it intently. "Nah, last time I was here I turned a man into a chicken with something called a 'Wabbajack' and convinced a handful of people to worship it…until I got hungry for chicken."

Sirrus really didn't know how to respond to that one.

"Now why does this place look so familiar…"

"I don't mean to hurry you." Said Sirrus, struggling with the weight of the pelt. "But this is a big pelt…"

"Baby."

Sirrus stuck her tongue out at Sythis as she ducked inside the store. Once inside, Sirrus let her eyes adjust for a moment and looked around. Wooden shelves surrounded them, burdened with potions, alchemy ingredients, armor, jugs and plates, trinkets, and weapons of every shape and size. Sythis was eyeing one double-edged war axe in particular with desire.

"You can't just let that thief get away with something like this!" a woman in a yellow dress nearly shouted at the shopkeeper behind the counter.

"Camilla, we've already discussed this!" The man argued back. "That claw is gone! And you are _not_ going on some wild goose-chase after it! I will not see my sister killed! Now let me go back to the mead with the juniper berries!"

"Lucan-" Camilla started.

"Well, hello!" Lucan interrupted, waving at Sythis and Sirrus. "I don't know what you just heard, but I assure you, we still have plenty to sell…. The thief was only after one thing-"

"Yeah, yeah." Sythis waved her hand, cutting him off. "I'm here to sell."

"Alright, what're you selling?" Lucan said, eyeing Sirrus struggling under the bear pelt.

"This beauty. Right here." Sythis grinned as she stroked the pelt with her left hand.

"Sythis? Uh…a little help? Please?" Sirrus squeaked.

"Hush. How much will you give me?"

"For that? Let's see…it's ragged, a little damp, there's mud on one of the paws, and there's still a lot of blood on it, from what I can see from here. 50 septims."

"50 septims? _Only_ 50 septims? My good sir, I have nearly given my life for this thing! I lost Sirrus, my comrade to this beast!"

"I'm still here." Sirrus said, glaring at Sythis.

"_Hush_." Sythis shot her a deadly glare. Sirrus sighed. "We have traveled far, from the very heart of Blackmarsh, just to sell this pelt to a fine vendor such as yourself-"

"Blackmarsh? We just killed this thing in that cave-"

"Fine." Sythis said, shooting Sirrus another frigid glare. "We travelled a mile to dump this thing for what it's worth, and danmit, that's what I intend to do! Now this pelt here is worth at least 91 septims, and you know it!" Sythis demanded, slamming her fist on the counter.

Lucan sat back, surprised. He studied Sythis' hard face for a moment, deciding. He held her blank gaze before responding.

"Wait a minute…I know you." He said, leaning forward. "You were in here that night the claw-"

"Claw? What claw?" Sythis said, quickly. "I know nothing of a claw…"

"A golden ornament. In the shape of a dragon's claw. You were my last customer that evening it was stolen. You mentioned how it must have been worth a small fortune…" Lucan pressed, rubbing his beard. Sythis bristled.

"What exactly are you implying?!" Sythis huffed.

"You stole it! You stole it, and now you've come back to scope out the rest of the store!"

"I have never been so insulted!" Sythis growled. "If accusing me is your way of getting out of an honest business deal, then you can just take this thing!" Sythis ripped the pelt out of Sirrus' grasp and slammed it on the counter with one hand. "Good day to you, sir!" Lucan barely had time to reply before Sythis grabbed Sirrus by the collar of her armor and stormed out of the store.

As soon as the door slammed shut behind them, Sirrus glided a judgmental look to the scowling white eyes. "You stole it…didn't you?"

"I do remember taking it, yes…but I don't know what happened to it. Actually that whole night is a blur." Sythis scratches her head and lets her eyes circle the sky in thought until they pop open widely. "Oh…"

"What?" the small Nord asked blankly until matching the direction of her watch. There, nestled in the crown of the peak, were old stone ruins.

"That's right…I was drunk and was ambushed by some bandits. Assaulting a drunk, what amateurs."

"So they took the claw?"

"And my pet rock, but that's another story." She states.

"We need to get it back!" Sirrus exclaims.

"And why?"

"Because the more good things you do, the better chance I have in convincing the Jarls to let your bounties go." She enlightens.

"Yeah, see, I've been really thinking over this 'good' thing and I have decided…I don't like it." Sythis shudders.

"And would you prefer prison?" Sirrus lifts her brow as she pushes her.

Sythis didn't want to answer that, but gave an annoyed scoff as she started to lead them towards the mountain path.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter Three

Sirrus's lips were sealed shut as she stood in the arbor of the bandit's camp, fixed on the horror laid out before her.

The once white snow had turned completely scarlet and fresh, red liquid dripped into the cracks of stone. Nothing was intact, not even the many corpses of the once outlaws. Limbs were spread around the camp's edges and chests and rib cages were ripped open and barren without hearts…and some bodies were even missing their kidneys.

Her stomach clinched, ready to vomit at any moment as she watched Sythis fix the bandit leader's head on a pole and merrily juggle the squishy hearts.

"Did…did you find it?" she trembled.

"Yes!" Sythis said excitedly. Sirrus's face lit up until a rock with the name 'Jimmy' craved into it was placed in her hands.

"No the claw!" she shouted, dropping the rock which Sythis had already forgotten about.

"Oh yeah," Sythis's thumb darts back to the head on the pole "that bloke managed to tell me he had recently gave it to a Dark Elf who went into the ruins, 'Bleak Falls Burrow." She nods her head at the entrance of the ruins that the bandits had camped in front of. "Time to go tomb raiding!"

"Oh joy, I was scared we wouldn't be able to be complete monsters today." Sirrus grumbled after her as she ran inside.

"Hold that torch closer! I can't see a thing!" Sythis commanded.

"I can't get any closer to you with you whacking around that weapon of yours! Plus the splatters of blood in the air…" she trails off with an uncomfortable shiver. "And if I'm carrying this, that means I can't shoot my bow."

"Oh, you shoot it now?" Sythis jeers.

"Ha. Ha." Sirrus mocked.

"What was that?!" a man's startled voice echoed from around a large pillar.

"Show yourself!" a woman demanded. Sythis unsheathed her swords as Sirrus drew her bow. Sythis took out the large blonde man that came charging at them with a warhammer before he could even utter a threat. Sirrus aimed at the woman, who sent a steel arrow her way. It grazed Sirrus' arm, and Sirrus reacted by letting go of her knocked arrow. The arrow sailed straight into the woman's heart, slicing through the air with a sharp hiss.

"Sythis!" Sirrus gasped. "Did you see that?!"

"Yeah, I did." Sythis said, feigning a yawn. "But try to take less time aiming. You'll be less likely to get hit that way. You know, strike first, and all."

Sirrus scowled at her.

"C'mon." Sythis pushed. "We've got a treasure to find!"

"…And give back to its rightful owner." Sirrus added.

"Uh…sure."

The two descended deeper into the crypt in silence. Sythis stopped occasionally to raid an urn or two (much to the disapproval of Sirrus). As they went deeper into the barrow, Sirrus couldn't help but notice that the fine hairs on the back of her neck were starting to stand on end. As they passed a shelf stocked with the mead with the juniper berries, the air was getting colder, the stench of rotting corpses was getting stronger, and the tunnels were getting narrower and narrower. A trio of rabid, shrieking skeevers emerged as if from nowhere, and darted in their direction. Sirrus screamed and pulled her hands up to her face as Sythis merely kicked in their skulls. Sirrus laughed nervously as Sythis shot her another blazing glare.

"Seriously, you have to grow a pair of-"

"What was that?!" Sirrus shrieked again.

"What was what?" Sythis asked as a low gurgle reached their ears.

"That." Sirrus said, suddenly turning pale. The gurgle came again.

"Could it be?" Sythis gasped as a half-rotted warrior stumbled up a flight of stairs and into their view. It was clutching a rusty blade in its hand, dragging it on the ground until its thin arm was able to raise it above its head.

"It is!" Sythis exclaimed, overjoyed. "A Draugr!" Sirrus shrieked again.

"GET ME OUT OF HERE!" she screamed. Sythis rolled her eyes. She strode up to the putrid Nord and kicked in his brittle chest, sending him on his back. A well-placed strike from her sword into his temples sent the blue glow out of his eyes as his body relaxed.

"Seriously. It's just a cursed Nord. Probably one of your ancestors…I don't know. You Nords are weird like that. Besides, for reasons unexplained, they often carry a good amount of coin on them." Sythis said, as she ripped a bulging coin purse from his rotted armor. Sirrus wanted to puke again.

They continued trekking through the various caves and halls, slaying every rotted warrior who dared rise from their resting places. Sirrus began to less and less afraid of them…and more so annoyed with them as her arrows planted into their frail bodies. But every time they thought they might reach the end, there was yet another cave or hall. Until, they heard the voice of a man call for help from behind a passage barricaded in solid web.

Sythis slashed through it and they both quickly ran in the room, looking up and down until finding a Dark Elf wrapped in the same kind of web. He tried to call them for help until his horrified gaze shot up the ceiling where an eight-legged shadow fell from. Sirrus covered her mouth with two hands as the giant, frostbite spider landed before them.

This time, Sirrus reacted before Sythis could lunge at the beast. While screaming, she repeatedly pulled arrows back and sent them slugging into the massive insect's flesh…or whatever spiders have.

While indifferently watching these arrows fly past her head with cries of fear following, Sythis folds her arms and leans up against the wall, waiting. And with tears streaming down her cheeks, Sirrus finally stops and stands shaking and breathing in huffs, looking at the warrior lifting her brows at her. "Ya done?"

A little embarrassed, Sirrus nods and stands behind her as she approaches the struggling Dark Elf. "You gotta help me!"

"Claw." Sythis states.

"What? You gotta cut me down from here!" he begs.

"Claw." Sythis growls lowly.

"Yes! Yes! I have it!" he exclaims.

"Good." She says, appeased, cutting him down. She waits as he starts to get up, but then immediately glares when seeing his mouth lift in a trickster smile.

He turns his back to her and starts toward a passage that was behind the web holding him. "Like I would give you the-" there was immediately both a sword and an arrow rammed into the back of his head.

Sythis, pulls out the sword from his skull and withdraws a golden claw with three circles on the palm, each with different markings of animals on each one. But of course, the rest of his gold was did not go unnoticed as she pocketed the coins and moved onward, handing the claw to Sirrus to carry.

Sirrus stays put when running her studying gaze all around the claw, and hears Sythis scoff and backtrack when noticing she's not following her. "Do I need to remind you of the 'those who stay behind are left behind' policy?"

"These markings, what do you think they mean?"

"…Who cares?" Sythis tugs her arm firmly, getting her to follow again.

After more trekking, they finally reach a dead end; a massive, locked door that, despite all of Sythis's ramming and cursing, would not even budge. "Well, we're boned." She throws her hand in the air in defeat and begins to walk away until Sirrus calls her back.

"The markings! They're on the door as well!" she points out happily. Sythis stands back as she watches her examine the claw mark even more and slide the markings around until she was sure they were correct. Then, connecting the three nails of the golden claw to the three holed, stone circle in the door's center, the door slid down and allowed them to pass through to the very last room.

After ducking under a wave of bats, they saw that the room was massive, with a shallow stream running through the middle. When crossing the water, they stop and look at each other in confusion as they heard…music?

"You hear this too?" Sythis asked her "Oh good, it isn't the voices in my head!"

"It sounds like…a chorus of voices…are they chanting?" Sirrus tries to guess as they now cautiously approach a small set of stairs. And, held in the pale light that rains from the gap in the crypt ceiling, is a stone wall where the chanting became louder. There appeared to be markings in some sort of runic language chiseled in the ancient stone. But there is one line of symbols that seemed to _illuminate_ to them.

They approached the wall cautiously, staring wide-eyed and open-mouthed. For some unexplainable reason, the runes whispered to them: _fus_. All went black, and when their senses returned to them, they looked around, bewildered. That very word seemed to resonate in their spirits.

"By the Eight…" Sirrus moaned. Suddenly, they heard a great explosion behind them. They whirled around as one last Draugr pulled itself from its granite bed. Sythis grinned at Sirrus, who shot back her own crooked smile. Sirrus jerked an arrow out of her quiver, as Sythis withdrew the swords from the scabbards at her waist. Sirrus nocked an arrow, aimed, and shot the Draugr in the chest. It flinched and glanced at the arrow protruding from its putrid flesh. Enraged, the Draugr stepped back, flexed his shoulders and cried: _FUS RO DAH!_ Sirrus flew out of the way of the blast that resulted from the Draugr's cry, leaving a clear path for it to hit Sythis. Sythis couldn't react in time, and the blast sent her flying into a stone cauldron.

"Sythis!" Sirrus yelled.

"It's a damn Overlord!" Sythis roared, pulling herself up from the damp floor. She charged at the Dragur, hacking at it with her swords. She hit it in the neck; her sword embedding deep in the tissue. She jerked it back out of the Draugr's throat, and sent the other blade through its stomach. It shrieked and crumpled to the floor, and Sythis stood back, glancing proudly at Sirrus.

"Well. That wasn't so bad." Sythis beamed.

"It's still alive!" Sirrus screamed.

"Huh?" Sythis, said as she looked back at the Draugr. It was already on top of her, pressing the frozen blade of its sword into her neck. Sirrus immediately nocked her bow and fired again, sending an arrow into the Draugr's gullet; inches from Sythis' face. It hesitated long enough for Sirrus to sprint at it. Sythis jerked around, turning the Draugr's back to face Sirrus. In one fluid movement, she also turned in the corpse's embrace, burying her swords into his stomach yet again. At the same time, Sirrus came down on top of the Draugr with an arrow clutched tightly in her grasp. She jabbed this into the center of his chest.

It collapsed immediately, falling to the floor in a heap. It convulsed on the stones for only a moment, as his final death throws overtook him. Then, he was gone.

"I really hate those bastards." Sythis rubs her sore back. "They're loud, obnoxious, and just horrible conversationalist altogether."

Sirrus, not paying any attention to her, saw a small, flat stone tucked into the folds on the Draugr's armor. She lifted it up to see that in also had mysterious markings and held it to Sythis who shrugged.

"Best to take it with us I guess…" Sirrus muttered while slipping it into her bag.

They searched the crypt a little while longer until coming across a lever that lifted a large stone to reveal a secret passage out of the cave. When stepping into the white daylight, they shielded their eyes until they adjusted and saw that this doorway led to a steep hill off the mountain side.

"Great, how will we trek down?" Sirrus ponders. But Sythis was already on it, and was ripping a shield off a nearby skeleton. "What is that for-" With a wild smile, Sythis grabbed Sirrus in her arms, jumped on top of the shield, and rode it down the mountain side as she laughed crazily over the poor Nord's screams.

* * *

A note from "**The Vanguard**":

Dearest Readers and Fellow Dovahkiins,

We cannot thank you enough for reading our story! We have been working on and off on it for months— with lots of distractions I assure you. This story actually started off as random comments between the two of us when **Heart-of-a-Villain** (The other person who shares this child account) played Skyrim for the very first time.  
Funnest part about that story is the fact she had never played any of the Elder Scrolls series, and "**Sythis**"—her go-to name for characters— is something she had no idea would already be taken- though, with a different spelling- in the gaming universe. She had reacted like many who think that their character names, as precious as they are, are completely unheard of and just thought into existence by their brilliance...she screamed in agony and cursed me for informing her.

In her defense, she had been using it in her stories since elementary, so, she did technically think of it first. (Just let her have this one, she was VERY upset that day XD)

Anyway, I plan to surprise **the Villain**with spending a whole night writing chapters and posting them on here. I hope to cheer her up after a long day at prison— I mean work...place...thingy.

One last thing- and I hate to be one of those people- but **the Villain** and I put so much hard work into our WordCraft (I'm making that word a thing) for the hope that one day we can provided entertainment for people like you. To help us keep working, we would really appreciate **reviews**. Aspiring Writers-in-Training like us can fight dragons with keyboards all we want, but to make it worth it, it is up to you beloved wielders of eyes and beholders of words. (Translation: Readers- but you may use those titles, I have crafted them for you. Yes! You! Not that guy though, he can't use it)

- **The Vanguard**  
(Maker of the cowardly "**Sirrus**" and omnipotent owner of the Pen name "**SeraphimVanguard**")

R&R! AHHH!


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